petpeeves

  • It really gets me when a restaurant brings a number of dishes to share to the table but they bring no utensils.
  • I am really beginning to dislike every restaurant having a sharing menu. Whatever happened to ordering dinner just for you?
  • I dislike when everybody says, “No Problem” instead of, “Your Welcome”.
  • I really dislike when the waiter screws up something but never says the words “I am sorry”(This happens especially in Miami).
  • I really don’t like when everybody says, “cheers” when I am not even drinking!
  • I really hate when a restaurant includes the tip on top of the taxes. That is just a money grab.
  • When you are doing a sharing meal and they bring everything out at once. It is hard to enjoy each dish, I prefer to savour them separately. Each sauce just melds together on the plate. It takes 40 minutes to drive to the restaurant and 5 minutes to eat the meal.
  • I also dislike sloooow service. When a meal is dragged out and it becomes a 3-4 hour marathon. Kill me now!
  • I dislike rude hostesses. I am coming to spend some money in your restaurant and I would appreciate being treated nicely. Enough with snobbery and thinking it is cool (Zuma in Miami is a good example of this).
  • Upselling!!
  • “Would you like a bottle of still or flat water?” Is tap water not an option!
  • Why do restaurants cook with so much salt?!
  • When they recommend 4-5 dishes per person. Come on it is way too much food!
  • Waiting an hour and a half for a table when you’ve made a reservation (yes I mean you Prime 112).
  • Don’t tell me you need the table back in 90 minutes even before I sit down. It is up to the kitchen and wait staff to serve me in a timely manner.
  • When they clear your appetizer dishes they place your dirty cutlery on the table for your next course instead of replacing it.
  • When the waiter says let me explain the menu like I am an imbecile.
  • When they open a new bottle of water or wine before asking first.
  • When they pour water or wine right to the top of the glass just so they can open a new bottle.
  • Having to ask for bread.
  • When they give you miniature size plates to put your food on, and there is no room for all the different dishes and all the food gets mixed together and tastes the same.
  • When you are sharing a tapas meal with people and they don’t supply spoons or forks for individual dishes so you have to share saliva with all your guests because you have to use your own utensils!
  • When there are no hooks in restaurant bathrooms for hanging a handbag.
  • Unless you have a photographic memory write down the order.
  • When they have empty bread plates on the table, but they don’t serve any bread. What is the point of the plates?
  • SMOKING in a restaurant should be at the top of my list. Some countries still allow this!!! Why???? Nothing spoils a dinner more than thick smelly smoke
  • Tapas that come in threes!?!? Make it two or Four pieces. I hate fighting over the third piece.
  • When they automatically add 18% tip to the bill and then have the nerve to leave a column for tip open. Some people don’t realize that they are tipping twice.
  • When ordering takeout at a restaurant after you had your meal, and they add 18% service for that too!!
  • When they add tip on top of the tax. Why should I tip for the tax?!
  • Dirty washrooms – if your washrooms are this dirty, what condition is your kitchen in?
  • Menu without prices for women in Europe. This is so sexist, and this is the 21st century, not the Middle Ages! Don’t give me a menu without prices!
  • Cleaning the table while I’m still eating.
  • I hate when a restaurant opens a new bottle of water or wine, without asking you first, just when you are just about to get the bill, and you still have a half a glass left.
  • Why does EVERY single restaurant in Miami have a dulce de leche dessert? It’s so monotonous!
  • QR Code menus! 🙁

I also recommend reviewing Alan Richman’s Restaurant Commandments on GQ.